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📍What we're talking about this issue: 
How to signal respect + relationship in your thank-yous (and how not to)

Illustration by Annie Spratt on Unsplash 

Dear defender of good,

May and June reminded me of a few important lessons in life -- not the least of which was that sometimes, family emergencies happen. And it's your relationships (in this case with treasured clients, colleagues, email subscribers 💕) that give you the grace to push pause... including on this Loyalty Letter, and a webinar with 900 attendees that needed to be rescheduled two hours before show time (more on that below).  

My fundraising writer's point to this personal intro is that we are always building relationships. That's why we need to be sure we're signaling trust, respect, and warmth, every time we write to donors... right down to our thank-you letters.  Here's how:

4 Hidden Signals Your Thank-Yous Are Sending: 
(And How to Get Them Right)

✍️ By Lisa Sargent
Fundraising copywriter

June 2025

Every time you write to donors, whether you know it or not, you're sending signals. 

Are you showing supporters they matter? Or subtly communicating something else? 

Right down to your gift acknowledgements, or thank-you letters, even the smallest choice in tone and word choice can make a massive difference to the signal you send. 

Sadly, thank-yous are still among the most neglected messages of all.

Today we're going to explore how you can get those signals right.

1️⃣ Signal of Respect — or Signal of Transaction? 

Does your thank-you focus only on how much someone gave? Or does it focus on who gave the gift, too?

Does your letter sound like a perfunctory receipt... or a genuine message of gratitude written by a living, breathing human?

One of the quickest ways to diminish a thank-you is to treat it like a receipt. That's because it sends a signal of transaction, that shows the donor what matters isn't who they are, but what they gave. 

Here are transaction words that make no donor feel loved, ever:

Your donation of $XX has been processed. 

So instead of sending a transaction signal, why not signal warmth and respect? Like this:

Because of your kind gift of $50, a family in crisis has food and shelter tonight. And tomorrow, with your love beside them, they can begin to rebuild. 

We talked about sharpening your writing before. But with thank-yous, it's a special kind of signal you send. And that signal is not about a transaction.

👉 Cool brain science tip? Framing that appeals to relational brain circuits (social belonging, trust, empathy) supports loyalty and memory. [More on this in Thankology, and if you have time to catch my free webinar with OneCause on June 26, sign-up required.]

2️⃣ Signal of Relationship — or Obligation?

Does your thank-you celebrate the relationship and shared values? Or does it subtly pressure with give-again phrases?

I'm not saying you can't prime a relationship that you hope will last... but it's the way priming happens that changes everything.

For example:

We hope you'll continue to support us.
 

vs. 

We hope you'll be with us for years to come. 

Do you see it? In the top example, it's the supporter's money that's valued in this thank-you letter, right down to an indirect ask for more. 

But in the bottom example, it's "you" we value -- you the supporter, your kindness, your togetherness with us, and we're in it for the long haul.

 👉 Cool brain science tip? Obligation-based language can trigger something called reactance theory, that often triggers the exact opposite behavior as individuals see their control is being taken away.  But with relationship-based language, we can boost commitment and satisfaction... two of the key drivers of loyalty. 

3️⃣ Signal of Story — or Self-Promotion?

Have you ever read those acknowledgements that talk about the nonprofit's achievements and wondered, how the heck is there any room for the supporter in all this self-promotion?

Well, you're right.

Because the signal nonprofits should be sending is not the signal of self-promotion. It's the signal of story... the story that supporters are a vital part of the work you do. 

Here's a look at both.

Self-promo signal (no room for donor):

Last quarter, our team reached over 300 at-risk children with our water purification and borehole initiative

Story signal (makes room for your donor!):
Thanks to the generosity you've shown, Sarah's community was able to install a solar-powered well. And 300 children now have steady access to safe, clean drinking water. 

You can see how both statements describe the same outcome. But in one, the donor and community are agents of change. In the other, the organization is the only star.
 

👉 Cool brain science tip? When donors see themselves in the story (as an agent of change), you can begin to engage a phenomenon called narrative transportation — increasing engagement and emotional connection. This example is a light version of it, to be fair. Narrative transportation really comes to life in newsletters and appeals. 

4️⃣ Signal of Human Warmth — or Corporate Distance?

Look at your current thank-you letters, emails, and auto-responders, and ask: does it sound like a cold form letter, sent to a faceless recipient who's one of many?

Or does it sound like a human voice behind the words, evoking warmth and kindness and shared values?
 

You already know the signal I'm going to advocate for here... that warm, authentic, human tone. 

"On behalf of..." won't cut it.
"This is an automated message, do not reply"... won't cut it. 
And yes, "Your donation has been processed" won't help either.

But what about something like this?  

It's an excerpt from a short and simple auto-responder thank-you I wrote for the amazing St. Helena Hospital Foundation. (Yup, an auto-responder. SHHF knows all about warm thanking and they weren't happy with the generic signal in the copy that was part of their online donation service, so we overhauled it.)

Human warmth, even in an auto-responder:
For your love of community... for supporting world-class healthcare close to home... the generosity you've shown is already on its way to helping save lives.

There is no way we can express just what your kindness means. 

There's nothing super fancy about the copy. 

But it's the word choice and tone that change everything... and it's that kind of change you can bring to every thank-you write, now that you know how to send the right signals.  

Write with great heart always! ✍️

PS. Thanks for your patience with my 3-issue absence in Loyalty Letters... and if you were signed up for the OneCause webinar on June 11, thank you for your understanding in the reschedule to June 26. (If you signed up, you're auto-enrolled for the 26th. If not and you'd like to join us for The Power of Gratitude, you can register free here.) 

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